I have one son, he is eleven. He completely bumfuzzels me. I feel so ill equipped to do this Mom job most days. He is a fantastic kid in so many ways, smart, funny, loving, witty, empathic and on... and I am proud to be his Mom, but I really feel like I am going down really big scary white water rapids most days on a pizza box! Does anyone else identify with that? For instance....can anyone tell me a logical reason that I should find an empty box of baking soda in the downstairs bathroom that somehow appeared overnight? Do you know why an 11 yr. old needs baking soda while his parents are upstairs sleeping? Bumfuzzeling I tell you!
I am discovering that eleven is a hard age. There are new things going on all over the place....the P word (puberty) is most definitely kicking in and bringing with it all kinds of foreign territory....sigh! There is attitude and eye rolling, a simple sigh can send me to my knees begging forgiveness for my words and actions daily if I am not prayed up! Things that used to go unnoticed are now much more interesting....girls...the world...girls...the world....it's hard, for me, but for him too! He has come to me on more than one occasion and tried his best to express his struggle and try to make sense of it....OH MY!!! It just hit me....he is bumfuzzeled too!!
Granted, he has had more to deal with than alot of kids his age, some of it pretty hard stuff that most adults would struggle with, but as you and I both know, you don't have to look around far to see someone else in a worse way than you. My point ? We have it good in this home, even with the challenges we face, we are blessed and then some! He is not dealing with an environment where there is abuse of any sort, sure we are a little dysfunctional, but in a loving kind of way ;-) We are far from perfect on any level, but he is loved in abundance, provided for above what many will ever dream of having.....all his needs are met and lots of his wants as well.
I was nor will I ever be an 11 year old boy and quite frankly I am not always sure what to do with him. Love, discipline, consistency, stepping back enough to let him make mistakes, guidance and lots and lots and lots of prayer....these are our job requirements and of course laundry and cooking and snuggling and and and.....
We take them from our womb, hold them, nurse them, teach them. They get to the point that they can walk and they take our hand and we walk beside them along the path that leads to the bridge....the bridge that is there in all our lives that we find on the path somewhere around 11 years old I'm guessing that takes us over the river of life and gives us a safe view of what goes on, while we are still in the care and protection of our parents. We journey over the bridge at different speeds, but ultimately we reach the other side and we find ourselves alone to forge into the great unknown of life....adulthood. I will walk the bridge with The Boy and offer guidance and advice, impart wisdom where I can and warnings for traps in which I was caught in my own journey. I will cry as I watch his journey many times I'm sure....it's hard to let go and yet at the same time I do desire to see him successfully on the other side without my hand to hold and making it along the path on his own.....brings a whole new meaning to the expression "Build a bridge and get over it" doesn't it?
So here's what I am thinking....as Moms we need each other for support, as sounding boards, to commiserate and encourage and cheer each other on in our journeys to the bridges and over them. There are trolls and loose footing all over the bridges of our children's lives. Some Moms have made the journey to the bridge and are experiencing life with that journey as part of their past, for those at the beginning and at every stage along the way - we need you!! You, who have walked the path to and over the bridge to help direct us through what you learned in your travels. Our Father knows what each path looks like, and He has entrusted us to care for these gifts while they are here, to love, to teach, to equip and to train them.
Truthfully, He will supply us with everything we need to come out on the other side, and sometimes what we may need most of all is each other. It is my prayer that we can find each other at whatever stage of our journey we are in and support and each other as we are able.
So....can we talk ?.....Please share where you are,a little about your kids, their ages, just whatever you feel comfortable sharing and most of all what you are struggling through today...maybe someone reading has already conquered the mountain that lies before you.
For me, my mountain today would have to be the P word.....any takers??